Translating our feelings can overcome stress & depression

Too many people are being diagnosed with depression when in reality they are just unhappy, says an Australian psychiatrist Gordon Parker.
Parker conducted a study which included 242 teachers who were followed for a period of 15 years. During that time, more than three-quarters of them were found to meet the criteria for clinical depression. These criteria include having a “low mood” for more than two weeks combined with appetite change, sleep disturbance, drop in libido and fatigue.
Parker says that having such a low threshold for diagnosing clinical depression creates the risk of taking the normal ups and downs of living and treating them as an illness. He argues that treating these individuals will not be effective because there is nothing wrong with them.
I tend to agree. Feeling sad occasionally in response to our circumstances is a normal part of living. Emotional pain can be a signal that we need to make some changes in our lives. If you touch a hot pan and get burned, do you take a painkiller to deaden the pain or do you learn from your mistake and use a potholder the next time?
A recent telephone conversation with an acquaintance got me to thinking about stress, anxiety, depression and all that is associated with them. Her life at
home was under so much stress raising her children, she said, it was affecting her
job. She wanted to change job assignments thinking this would cure her stress at
home. She wanted to rid herself of the job stress and drop it on someone else. It’s not as simple as that!
Perhaps the root of the stress or depression is at the home rather than the job itself. If we get to the bottom of the stress at home, then we will bring a better
outcome to the job. We call it working from the inside, out. Fixing our internal
self is a good place to begin. It begins with you, not some other person such as
your husband or children or some external issue. Fixing this first will allow you to
overcome stress or depression. Depression, stress and anxiety are often companions, and this is a global problem. One in six people around the world will suffer from major depression at some point in their lives.
When new challenges and opportunities show up in our lives, we may diagnose ourselves as feeling scared when what we really feel is excited. Often we have not been taught how to welcome the thrill of a new opportunity, and so we opt to back off, indulging our anxiety instead of awakening our courage. One way to inspire ourselves to embrace the opportunities that come our way is to look more deeply into our feelings and see that butterflies in our stomach or a rapidly beating heart are not necessarily a sign that we are afraid. Those very same feelings can be translated as excitement, curiosity, passion, and even love.
There is nothing wrong with being afraid as long as we do not let it stop us from doing the things that excite us. Most of us assume that brave people are fearless, but the truth is that they are simply more comfortable with fear because they face it on a regular basis. The more we do this, the more we feel excitement in the face of challenges rather than anxiety. The more we cultivate our ability to move forward instead of backing off, the more we trust ourselves to be able to handle the new opportunity, whether it’s a new job, an exciting move, or a relationship. When we feel our fear, we can remind ourselves that maybe we are actually just excited. We can assure ourselves that this opportunity has come our way because we are meant to take it.
Framing things just a little differently can dramatically shift our mental state from one of resistance to one of openness. We can practice this new way of seeing things by saying aloud: I am really excited about this job. I am really looking forward to going on a date with this amazing person. I am excited to have the opportunity to do something I have never done before. As we do this, we will feel our energy shift from fear, which paralyzes, to excitement, which empowers us to direct all that energy in the service of moving forward, growing, and learning.
If a person feeds on negative thoughts all day long, every task and every trial that comes his or her way will be approached from a defeatist attitude. We have the ability to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. It takes practice, but it is worth it!

John W. Cargile, Msc.D, D.D. is a licensed pastoral psychology counselor. He is a member of the National Education Association and Alabama Education Association. He is the author of a new novel, The Cry of the Cuckoos. www.thecryofthecuckoos.com You can contact him at jwcargile@charter,net. All conversations are confidential.

Keeping boredom at arm’s length through the creative process

I guess there are times when we all suffer from boredom.
I am in a post-partum publishing state of mind. After going through a book publishing process, which takes many, many months, and seeing your book actually in the print stage and on the market, I often ask “What next?”
Oh, I’ve got some ideas, and other novels to work on. I feel like a pregnant woman who has waited nine months for delivery and when the baby is born with all the excitement it entails, the woman, in most cases, suffers post-partum depression.
We experience highs and lows, but we must be able to keep ourselves from getting too high or diving too deep into depression.
I was on cloud nine this past week as I got a lead from a friend, a friend of a friend of one of Hollywood’s top movie producers – Steven Tisch, Academy Award winner for the Forrest Gump movie. He also happens to be co-owner of the New York Giants. The friend said she would get my book into Tisch’s hands and see what develops. Friends tell me the book would make a great movie. I found out Tisch married a woman from Tuscaloosa – Jamie Alexander. They have since divorced. Tisch still has friends in Tuscaloosa.
A radio interview last week placed me on another high when the show producer – Lee Davis – of WYDE Radio 101.1FM ranked my book, The Cry of the Cuckoos, somewhere between Tom Clancy and John Grisham. It was a great compliment.
Then there was a low. I went to a book signing in Birmingham. The weather was awful. I knew on the drive up that anyone getting out in this type of gully-buster weather probably needed a special award like a Courageous Cuckoo Fan button. The bookstore signing was a bust as only a few drenched customers came through the door. They were looking for certain items or picking up books they had ordered. I went home in a stupor, went to bed. Post-partum depression.
The human mind thrives on novelty. What was once a source of pleasure can become tedious after a time. Though our lives are full, boredom lurks around every corner because we innately long for new experiences.
Yet boredom by its very nature is passive. In this idle state of mind, we may feel frustrated at our inability to channel our mental energy into productive or engaging tasks. We may even attempt to lose ourselves in purposeless or self-destructive pursuits.
While this can be a sign of depression, it can also be an invitation issued from your mind, asking you to challenge yourself.
Boredom can become the motivation that drives you to learn, explore the exotic, experiment, and harness the boundless creative energy within.
In Hindu and Buddhist traditions, boredom is perceived as a pathway to self-awareness. Boredom itself is not detrimental to the soul-it is the manner in which we respond to it that determines whether it becomes a positive or a negative influence in our lives.
When you respond by actively filling the emptiness you feel lurking in yourself, you cultivate creativity and innovation. If, when in the grip of boredom, you have difficulty acknowledging the merits of any activities you might otherwise enjoy, generate your own inspiration.
Before you find yourself beset by boredom, create a list of tasks you can consult when it feels like there is simply nothing to do. Referring to a list of topics you want to learn more about, projects you’ve yet to begin, or even pending chores can spark your creative energy and reawaken your zest for life.
When we are troubled by boredom, it is not that there is nothing to do but rather that we are not stimulated by the options before us. A bored mind can be the canvas upon which innovation is painted and the womb in which novelty is nourished. When you identify boredom as a signal that you need to test your boundaries, it can be the force that presses you to strive for opportunities you thought were beyond your reach and to indulge your desire for adventure.
We all experience periods where we feel separated from the loving ebb and flow of the universe. These times of feeling disconnected from the source may occur for many reasons, but self-sabotage is the most common cause for us choosing to cut ourselves off from the flow of the universe.
Reconnecting with the universe grounds you and is as easy as making a concerted effort to become interested in the activities you love or responding to what nurtures or stimulates you..
When you disconnect from the universe, your sense of purpose, creativity, and ability to be innovative are not as easy to access. You may also experience a deep and empty sense of longing or feel devoid of ideas or unworthy of love. It’s important, however, to recognize that being disconnected from the universe is never a permanent state, and it can be reversed any time you decide that you are ready to reconnect. When you are connected to the universe, all aspects of your being will feel alive as the flow of the universe pours through your being and into your life.

John W. Cargile, Msc.D, D.D. is a licensed pastoral psychology counselor. He is a member of the National Education Association and Alabama Education Association. He is the author of a new novel, The Cry of the Cuckoos. www.thecryofthecuckoos.com You can contact him at jwcargile@charter,net. All conversations are confidential.